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”That meant I got up at 6:30. It was after 3 AM when I finally conked out to dreamless slumber.I looked at myself in Girl’s mirror. I was the epitome of death warmed over.“They’re probably doing it again to start their day.”I can’t function sexually in the morning. “No, Cully, you’ll rub it raw again, boy. Uh, uh.”“Please, it’ll be okay this time, Girl. I swear it.”“No.”I bet Tommy had no problem cutting the mustard of a morning. At least I knew he couldn’t lick the jar like I could. I’d heard somewhere that black guys didn’t like to lick the jar.“Girl, did he lick your jar?”“Oh, God, Cully, did he, and I thought you were the living end at that. Ha.”I checked the phone. Dial tone was still there. I cradled it, then snatched it up fast to see if it really truly was live. “Thank Christ.”“How bout driving over there and hiding in that corn field next to his complex?”There had to be a cornfield there.“There’s one every other fuckin’ place.”It never bothered me that I talked to myself. ”After a long police career, Don Brown got religion. He decided to join a church which questioned new members instead of just giving them a creed to recite. The questioning went like this: “Brother Don, do you believe in sin?” “Brother, I certainly believe in sin. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload.” “Brother Don, do you believe in original sin?” “Brother, I’m afraid I don’t. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload. Not one of those sins was original.”In the services in another church, the pastor asked, “Is there anyone here who doesn’t have an enemy in the entire world?” One old man in the back raised a trembling hand. “That is marvelous. Can you tell us your secret.” “I outlived the dastards.”After World War II, most Britons considered Winston Spencer Churchill a grand old man. In the period between the wars, however, he was not so old, and his contemporaries did not consider him grand at all. Once,.
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